This year has been one for the books.
I was reading my blog from last January and each word I read I remembered how GREAT I felt, almost about every aspect in life. I remember the goals I had and CRUSHED because that is what I do and I remember the hard times I spoke about and how they made me feel.
Here are the last years Resolutions…
1. Blog – When ever you feel like it…..
3. Finish the 90 days strong which is March 27th
4. Grow closer to God and My Faith
5. Go to a place I have never been.
6. Take the babes on a GOOD vacation
7. Be a better friend MAKE THE DAMN TIME!
8. Pay off my car note
9. Photography – If its just of your kids, learn lifestyle. ( psst… I bought a new lens.. don’t tell the hubs.. and she is a dine piece <3 )
10. Build a producing Sales Team and figure out if I am the best fit for that role
11. Dance again… sub, have your own class whatever just do it.
So I can say I got most of hem done!
You see each year you have those people yes “those people” who are like Op here comes Jenny with her New Year New Me bullshit, or the people who talk about not having a new years resolution because they are stupid. Welp, I am not here to bust your bubble but let me bust your bubble shall we? Its very important in life to have goals for yourself… If its monthly, weekly, in life, in fitness or in general. So I for one do not think it is stupid to look over the past year in your life and think.. what do I wish I would have done different? What did I learn? What did I completely fail at? What do I want to do better? I think its healthy and always keeps you on your toes..
2017 for me was a year of Oh you got your shit together??? Watch this…… It has been a hell of a year to say the least.. God must think I am a strong mofo, because just when I thought I had things all figured out he threw an extra ball in my juggling act.. I dropped several.. they hit me in my face, I fell to the ground and I was pretty sure at least two of those times I wasn’t going to get up.. I was going to let life win.. but guess what, I am up.. am I 100% fuck no. But I am up so that says something..
In 2017 I lost myself. I lost my happy. I lost my giggle and my fun. I lost the things that make Crystal, Crystal.
Part of me is saddened by that but the Crystal in me knows that no one or no thing has the power to do that to me so I had to have allowed it… and the Crystal in me knows I have to and can get that back.
So that is what 2018 will be about for me.
I want to simplify.
I want to let go of anyone and anything that weighs my heart down. More than that I want to be okay with doing so. I want to do more of what makes me happy. I want to worry less and laugh more. I want to find my laugh.. the laugh like when Erin caught Amy at the red light laugh.. ( makes me giggle just thinking about it ) I want to be enough, feel enough and feel good about me. Not just with weight loss but at any weight. I want to stop apologizing for everything… when I shouldn’t even be sorry or feel guilty! I want to stop letting people take advantage of me.
I want to grow deeper in my faith and read my bible each day for a year or until I finish it. If I can watch a season in two days on Netflix I should be able to read a chapter in the bible a day.. I don’t want to.. that’s the real truth, and that has to change.
I want to speak the truth, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone and be unapologetic about how I feel.
I want to excel in my company, I had a GREAT year last year gained a very important and substantial client and this year I will get two more of those.
I want to blog more & photograph life more. Here I have this big beautiful camera.. Its time I start taking it with me instead of being scared I will break it.
This year I want to be 100% me.
That girl loves live music, loves life, loves to laugh and loves to be silly.
That is what 2018 will be about for me.
You have been a bitch to me. You have pushed me to all of my limits and even some beyond.. Even though you have been cruel at times you have shown your beauty in more ways than one. This year I lost a lot of weight and got to dance again… I realized how strong I was and where my limits were and pushed an inch past them. I finally let my father rest in Neverland and gave him a resting place near my brother as well. I finally let go of the past and stopped giving it power that it didn’t deserve. I saw the beautiful oceans of St.John and held on to a turtle while it swam with me in the crystal clear ocean. I hiked a mountain and made a mense. I cut all my hair ( idiot move) and had my heart broken and had to learn how to breathe again. Still working on this one… I jammed to Boys 2 Men in concert and sang along with Paula Abdul while wearing a choker and overalls at…. 34…. hahahaha I got my mother skills pushed to the limits and my sister skills pushed down a hill. I helped someone in need. Joyce made it to Texas, I saw Cadillac Ranch, watched Lillian preform on a stage, enrolled Briysen in a 5 star cooking academy where he excelled & took Gaige to his first basketball game.
So for all the wrong you did 2017 the right is what I choose to remember about you. So Dear 2018 lets make this our year.