There are some of us in this world that knows first hand what “Life is so short” really truly means. If it was due to an illness, a death or just a loss.. maybe it’s not even that “sad” maybe just maybe the person that you look at in the mirror has all of a sudden turned 60 and you begin to wonder where all this time went… or you sit in your kitchen and 3:15 hits and you know that this is the first year that no one will come barging through your front door rummaging through the cabinet to search for a snack and telling you all the drama that went on at school that day..
You see, I have seen a few sides of this card, I know that life is to short due to loss and I believe I am living the life is to short through my babies since my son shaved for the first time last weekend.. I feel like he was just looking up at me from the floor with his glistening big brown eyes and huge dimple repeating “hold chew momma? hold chew?” It’s what he would say when he wanted me to hold him… makes me grin every time I think about it actually… and now when he says hold chew he really means hold you, because he is about 3 inches taller than me.. and y’all that’s weird.
You have to understand that this is it… there are no re-do’s or lets just go back. The decisions and mistakes that you make today impact every aspect of your life in the next 10 minutes to the next ten years.
You see I had this big scary monster living in my closet, and when I say it was big and scary I am pretty sure every time I cracked the door open it took the breath right out of my lungs, made me fall to the floor, stand back up slam the door with all of my might and lock it with yet another deadbolt.. by the time it was done I am almost willing to bet you it had thousands of locks to keep it closed.. Even today I can not believe that somewhere deep inside of me I found the courage to open it.. and sit down with the monster over a cup of Joe. Just to then realize it wasn’t a monster at all, it was all a figment of my imagination that I had turned a simple game of telephone where it starts out “The sky is blue want to go play?” into “The sky is falling you need to run and go tell everyone you know to do the same”. It took me ten years… and now I feel ten years lighter, if not more. But it’s human nature to wonder how things would have changed, but it’s also cleansing to know that God’s will, will always be more powerful than our own, and everything happens in his timing.
You have one life.
One chance to live it like YOU want to, not how anyone else should or would but to find your inner beauty and strength to make this life your own.
I bought this journal from Target and it pretty much is exactly what I needed when I needed it.. It is crazy to me how things work out and how a 12.99 book can go from something fun to do before you go to bed to something that changes the way you think about things.. simple questions that should be easy turn into a “whoa…..” Like this one.. You have seven days.. to fill up with all the things you love. What would you do? Before you reply, think about this.. It’s not what he wants to do, or what she wants to do.. or what they like.. it’s being totally selfish to fill up these seven days with what YOU want to do.. with who you want to do them with.
By doing this you will find out more about your life than you thought you even knew, or at least I did..
What I am trying to say through all of this is, be free to spend your time with those who you wish to spend time with and don’t harbor guilt for any other reason, love and respect yourself because you set the boundaries for everyone around you to know how they should treat you as well. Live in the moment and every good once in a while be selfish.
You very well my fail over and over again but in the end it all boils down to the choice being yours… I said it once and I will say it again, No one has to lay in your bed at night with your decisions but you.. so don’t let others advice dictate your end all.
Learning about yourself is liberating but yet scary.. when you pull back the wife layer, the mom layer, the employee layer and get down to what makes YOU happy.. you actually might see that you have missed a super cool chick hiding under all those blankets.